Starving Poet Crystal Dawn

Just a hopeful broke girl, trying to make a living as a poet. Funny, huh? This is a diary of my thoughts and artistic searches on the web. Author of The Sensitive Callous

Sunday, September 18, 2005

About Me & My Goals

About Me
I was born in Virginia in 1974 as the youngest in a family of six. I spent my whole childhood there. After I graduated from high school, I went to college. I was diagnosed with medical depression in my third year of college, and I dropped out. I was kicked out of my mother and my father's house, due to some personal issues. I was homeless or moving from house to house for about six months. I also became deeply involved in drugs and an abusive relationship that lasted two and a half years.

In the past five years, I have been diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Disease and Psuedotumor Cerebri. With PCOS, it is very unlikely that I can have children, which is fine with me, because I never really had my heart set on it anyway. With the Pseudotumor Cerebri, I have all the symptoms of a brain tumor without the tumor. If it goes untreated, I could become blind. I have migraines daily, and they are aggravated by flourescent lighting, stress, and barometric pressures. Because of this, I applied for disability with Social Security and was rejected due to the rarity of my brain disease. So, I have no choice but to work from home, hoping to make enough money to be independent.

I now live in an apartment complex where drugs, prostitution and other crimes run rampant. Why do I live here? Well, where else do you expect a girl with barely any money to find an apartment? There's not really a place devoted to poor folks who don't fit into the crime scene. If you're broke, you just have to deal.

I used to live with my boyfriend, who I helped rehabilitate off of drugs, and he supported me. However, because of his criminal past, he was sent to jail for a probation violation. Eventhough he hasn't been involved in any criminal activity in over a year, he still has to pay for the consequences of his past.

Some days, I swear I'll never make it through. This week, they towed away my car. I haven't been able to drive it for over a year since I couldn't afford insurance or registration, so it's been sitting in the parking lot. I guess it was just a matter of time.
I saw my boyfriend for the last time yesterday for 10 months while he goes through a drug program. I still love him as much today as I ever did, and I'm gonna try to keep trucking alone as a mousy girl in the ghetto until he gets out to pamper his "queen" (one of his many nicks he's given me for supporting him through this time.)

My Goals:
Since I was nine, I have been writing poetry. I just had my first poetry book published, called The Sensitive Callous - Poetry by Crystal Dawn, and it is now available for purchase with me, being the sole marketer of my product.

Right now, I have 2 work-at-home businesses. So, every other day, I promote my book and poetry via websites. I spend over 10 hours a day, searching sites for exposure. This takes an enormous amount of time on my 10 year-old computer! (Now, if I could just get paid for searching these sites!) hee hee. One of my best friends, a graphic artist, SK and I are working on a Kage toplist, which is a place for artists of all sorts to post links to their sites. I'll let you know when it's ready.

Here's my future plans: I want desperately to get a regular .com site. Once I do that, I will be able to make a much better toplist and give poets and artists a rockin' message board! I also have other plans to contribute to the art/literature community, but I don't want to reveal those plans just yet. I have to get the money to pay for a .com site for a year first. That will take a little while for me to raise. Got tons of other bills to pay for first. I'm doing a ton of struggling, but I guess that's what being a starving artist really means, eh? I don't want to be a Van Gogh, I want to be a Jean-Michel Basquiat! hee hee

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